Start Your Engines!

OK folks…here we go again! ABC has just released pictures and short bios of the 25 men who will all be vying for Ali’s affections this season on The Bachelorette. For those of you not in the know, started-off-as-cute-and innocent-but-then-turned-backstabby-and-mean-then-turned-all-contrite Ali quit the show midway last season due to “work issues”, then asked Jake if she could come back, then got rejected by Jake, then got chosen to be rich and famous as the next Bachelorette. Which just goes to prove the old axiom, “Quitters always prosper.”

Here's the link to what ABC posted today: http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelorette/bachelor-announcement?cid=abc_bnb_bact

My first impressions of this new crop of fresh faces is that they are all overly-manicured and manscaped. I see lots of metrosexuals which kinda surprised me at first. When I thought about it more, though, I guess this makes sense since Ali is a stylin’ San Francisco chick with a professional job and cute hair. She can’t go gettin’ hitched to Grizzly Adams or Adam Lambert (not that there’s anything wrong with that…) But it would have been nice to see some edgier guys thrown in there. Wouldn’t it be fun to see one guy with tattoos on his forehead or one with those huge earlobe stretcher things making gaping holes in his ears? There is one totally geeky-looking guy thrown in there, so maybe all is not lost.

Perusing the bios and pictures, here are some notable items that stand out to me:

1. This will be a season with very confusing names. There are three, count ‘em THREE men named Chris, two named Craig, two named Derek (although one spells it Derrick), two men named John (along with another named Jonathan), and two named Tyler. Hopefully, lots of the duplicate names will be sent packing on the first episode so we won’t have to keep them all straight.

2. Almost every guy comes from the Midwest, the East Coast, or Canada. There’s only one California guy and he comes from Fresno, so he doesn’t really count, right? One guy named Kyle has long, bushy hair and is from Colorado. John C. is from a weird-sounding city in Washington. And Tyler M. is a caterer from Montana. Other than those three, it’s all Midwest, the East Coast, and Canada.

Some guys are from Michigan and two are from Florida (including the only man of color that I can see). Others are from Vermont, Ohio, Illinois,, Wisconsin, and Kansas.  Oh…and Jesse is from Peculiar, Missouri. Let’s keep an eye on THAT dude.

3. As usual, the jobs these guys have run the gamut. On the white collar side, there are seven guys who are all involved in some sort of sales. Why are so many reality show contestants involved in sales – particularly pharmaceutical sales? Two guys are in advertising, and one is a lawyer. Another is an investment manager. One is listed as “entrepreneur”, which as we know from past seasons means either, “I live off my great-grandfather’s inheritance and have more money to spend than I know what to do with,” or “I am currently unemployed,” or, “I own a sex toy business I operate out of my parents’ garage.” Time will tell with that one.

On the blue collar side, Ali has four different construction-related guys to choose from this year (one of them is my current vote for hottest). They are all so primped and styled in their photos, though, that none of them look especially blue collar yet.

And in the category of “random jobs”, we have a weatherman (a WEATHERMAN?!), an “entertainment wrestler”, and the Colorado guy who lists his job as “outdoorsman”. Ooo…that has possibilities, huh? Maybe he’ll take Ali camping on their one-on-one date and force her to kill a wild boar, eat its entrails for dinner, and wrap herself up in it for warmth at night? One can only wish. More likely it means that he is a ski instructor or takes senior citizens to the park on Sundays.

Go check out the profiles at the link above and let me know what you think! Any frontrunners for last dude standing based on what we know? Anyone strike you one way or the other?

Oh…and don’t forget to join us on Facebook at “After the Rose”. If you do a search and “Like” us, you can join in the conversation and fun. Looks like it’s gonna be a great season. Welcome back!